I underestimated.

The toll. 

On every part of your body you knew and parts you didn't yet know.

The demands.

Endless in a world where everything is accessible if you have enough dollars.

The weight.

Swimming while holding responsibilities over your head, keeping them out of water, dry.

The crush.

Of dreams not realized, placed on a backburner, forgotten in a pot.

The expectation.

Placed upon you by a thousand differing voices, your own most chief. 

The overwhelm.

Alarm bells ringing, smoke detectors firing and nothing to put out the fire.

The guilt.

Knowing your load isn't as heavy as others, gaslighting needs unmet.

And yet, you press on.